


“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

by yikesola



Series: tumblr ficlet prompts [19]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, parental woes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 03:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20284708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikesola/pseuds/yikesola
Summary: Dan wasn’t as bad of a son as he could be— when he stumbled home pissed off his tits in the middle of the night, he was at least quiet about it. Never banged doors, never stomped around. Didn’t even wake the dog. He can be courteous. His parents aren’t great at the whole parenting thing, but he’s not gonna wake them up if he can help it.A ficlet about parents and showing love.





	“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue Prompt: “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

Dan’s parents stopped really keeping tabs on his whereabouts a while ago. 

There was the year he had zero friends and therefore zero whereabouts for them to bother keeping tabs on. And once he started working they pretty much assumed if he wasn’t at home and wasn’t at school, then he was failing at understanding anything about DIY or lazily gathering peoples’ grocery orders as slow as possible. 

And he was, some of the time. 

Other times he was getting drunk in the park with friends that were good enough even if they weren’t strictly speaking good friends. Other times he was getting a lot both in and out of his system. Other times he was just walking, walking anywhere that wasn’t his tiny brown bedroom he’s felt trapped in now for years. 

He wasn’t as bad of a son as he could be— when he stumbled home pissed off his tits in the middle of the night, very few precious hours between when he’d crash into his bed and when he’d have to wake up for another soul-sucking shift, he was at least quiet about it. Never banged doors, never stomped around. Didn’t even wake the dog. 

He can be courteous. His parents aren’t great at the whole parenting thing, but he’s not gonna wake them up if he can help it. 

It took him a while to realize that his mum is usually awake anyways. He inherited his shit sleep schedule from somewhere after all. And he realizes because occasionally despite the rum in his veins and the pounding of his head and the heavy, heavy, heaviness of his heart, he can’t actually fall asleep some nights. 

It means he’s awake for the gentle tap-tap-tap on his door about twenty minutes after he gets in, which he doesn’t respond to. It means he’s awake when his mum cracks the door open and pokes her head in. 

It’s dark; he doesn’t move. She thinks he’s asleep. He closes his eyes when she starts to walk closer so she’ll keep thinking it. 

It means he’s awake when she ruffles his hair or pulls the blanket to his chin or plants a kiss on his forehead. It means he’s awake when she sighs, “Goodnight, bear,” before leaving as quietly as she came. 

He isn’t always awake, and kinda has to assume she does the same thing even when he sleeps through it. 

He isn’t sure what the emotion that little routine brings out of him is called. He tells Phil about it sometimes, once they’re at the point of talking about vulnerable shit like that. “Sometimes I want to yell at her when she’s walking back out... yell ‘Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping? Why can’t you give a fuck when I actually need you to?!’ but it might give her a heart attack or something.”

Phil frowns and leans in closer to his laptop screen. Dan’s sure that if they weren’t Skyping, but sitting beside each other, Phil would already have him wrapped in a great rib-cracking hug. 

It’s the best comfort he can offer, a frown or a hug. An “I’m sorry, Dan,” and the true but unhelpful reminder that his parents _do_ love him, even if they’re shit at showing it. Phil’s relationship with his parents is completely different. That’s not a bad thing— Dan doesn’t wish Phil felt distant, cold, and like he’s behind a glass wall with the people he’s supposed to love and trust and depend on. 

Phil suggests Dan asks his mum about it in a way that isn’t some middle of the night accusatory screaming match. Dan reminds him that the Howells don’t communicate well. Phil says maybe one day they’ll learn.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading— come say hi on [tumblr](http://yikesola.tumblr.com/post/187076257124/why-do-you-only-kiss-me-when-im-sleeping) !


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